Its where my demons hide
by DarkPheonix 666
Summary: Jean knew he was in for anything but easy when he started dating his ex-rival Erin Yeager. But its when she sleeps that he see's how damaged she truly is. Fluff, Angst, Fem Eren, Hetero, A/U, Oneshot, Erejean


**In the late of the night Erin is plagued my memories of her mother**

 **Jean helps her recover and ease the pain in her heart**

 **Fluff**

 **Please review, follow and favourite**

Jean lay in bed beside Erin his arm reached out to feel her hair against his fingers. He loved wrapping his fingers in her soft brown hair, grabbing it, pulling it, stroking it. Allowing himself to find comfort in something so simple, but humans were weird like that. Different things brought them happiness after all.

They were so far along in the relationship now that they didn't need to spoon each other all the time. Just knowing they were nearby and hearing them sleep was enough to know they were still there. Sometimes they would just lay beside one another and hold each other's hands as they slept.

But tonight, it was hot and so cuddling would only make them uncomfortable. They had even left the window open a little to let the fresh air circulate and vent the room. But he was close to her. Close enough to be able to reach out and touch her. To comfort her if she needed him or if she wanted to speak. He would always be there for her.

If she just wanted company, someone to listen, to vent, to cry or just to have fun. He would always be there for Erin no matter what she asked for. Over time her personality that used to annoy him now amusing him, becoming something he just couldn't be without. The woman he had come to love.

Suddenly Erin's body stiffened and she moaned weakly in her sleep. Jean noticed that her voice sounded scared, weak and filled with fear. Not her usual relaxed sleeping moans. That brought concern over him, Erin sounded like she was about to start crying. But Erin never cried, not unless she got so angry that she got frustrated enough to start sobbing.

Erin never let her guard down around anyone unless truly comfortable. Even then she was still somewhat grumpy but in a more relaxed way, her temper not nearly as dangerous. She was just bad at conveying her feelings to other people, because all her life she had felt judged and misunderstood.

Jean then turned over to face her worriedly, the concern for his lover rousing him from sleep. Erin sounded like she was in pain, but he didn't recall her receiving any injuries that he knew of. But then was it her time of the month? He knew how shitty those could be for a woman and was always sympathetic.

He reached out gently to place a hand on her shoulder supportively. Usually when he shook her or moved her in her sleep she would wake. Though he would have to shake her a little, Erin would eventually wake. (However every time she would be somewhat annoyed by being roused from her slumber)

Then Erin's expression changed, her dark brown bangs tumbling over her face as she moved. Her face slowly crumpling as if she was about to cry, but no tears came and instead looked pained. She was fighting something inside of herself that was causing her emotional pain as shown by her expression.

Her body tightened and she curled up into a ball. Her body becoming defensive and trying to protect herself from whatever thoughts or memories were swimming around in her mind. Her lashes thick with tears and her body stiff as a rock, not moving from her body position on he bed beside him.

"Erin…" he said gently. He didn't understand what was going on, only that something was plaguing her dreams. But whatever it was, he would make it better. He would lay beside her and comfort her until she felt better. He would never allow Erin to suffer with her own sadness like she had for most of her childhood.

"Mum…" Erin whimpered quietly. Her eyes became shiny and small tears started to form in her eyes. They gently welled up and poured down her cheeks leaving tear stains. Her hands curling up into tight balls and gripping the sheets. Her whole body tensing as she lost herself to the memories of her past within the realms of her dreams.

Jean's expression became pained and his heart felt like it was being squeezed. It hurt him to see Erin like this, knowing there was only so much he could do to ease the wounds in her heart. Shortly after they started dating he had learned from Mikasa and Armin that Erin's mother had died when she was but 10 years old. At the time when they had told him, he had been in shock.

Carla had died from a hit and run drunk driver. The car had crushed Carla from the waist down paralyzing her, then causing her to die from shock, blood loss and internal bleeding. He then began to understand why Erin was so moody, short tempered and defensive. She locked her trauma away within herself and put up shields to protect her heart.

She kept her emotions to herself and never said what she was truly thinking internally. He could only imagine the bombs she carried and what thoughts were running through her head. What doubts, guilt and jealousy she carried for not only herself but towards other people who had what she had lost.

He then wrapped an arm around Erin's waist protectively and pulled her close to him. He then slowly started rubbing her back to calm her down and pull her from the memories of her past. He began hushing gentle words to her in order to calm Erin down. Not letting her go and his heart aching with the fact that Erin was suffering silently within her own mind as she slept.

Erin sobbed a little in Jean's embrace, a few tears still spilling down her cheeks onto the bed. However, she eventually softened and relaxed in his arms after a while. Her face softening to its previously relaxed state, her body relaxing into his and her tears all but stopping. Her nightmares and pain slowly vanishing into nothingness.

"Jean…" she then whispered quietly. Her face now calm and her heart rate back to normal. Easing her body carefully into his and her hands no longer gripped into claws. Her face no longer warped with pain and sadness, now one of calm serenity and feeling safe in the arms of her lover once more.

Jean smiled fondly and caressed her cheek with his free hand. She was now back to normal and her past memories had parted, no longer tormenting the brunette. "I'm here babe. It's ok now" he soothed affectionately. He could never truly make the scars in her heart go away, but he could make them better. That much he could do for her.

Erin breathed gently and then moved closer to him instinctively. Her body relaxing into his and her breathing now back to how it was before she began to have nightmares. Comfortable in her surroundings and her tears now gone, stopping as soon as she felt safe and protected again.

She nuzzled into his body like a small child and fell back into peaceful sleep once again. The scent of Jean's body soothing her and chasing away all the unpleasant thoughts in her head. No longer crying out for her mother like the lost child she had been the day Carla had been torn from her.

When Erin finally relaxed, and fell back to sleep once more, Jean breathed a sigh of relief. The demons of her past once more at rest and no longer tormenting her. He then softened and leaned closer to Erin, closing the small gap between them. He kissed her head gently causing her to mutter sleepily at his gesture but not wake.

"I love you Erin" he whispered quietly. He really did. Though he could never truly understand how much pain Erin carried in her heart, he would always love her. He would gladly chase away her fears doubts and inner pain. He would act as her shield and protector when she wasn't strong enough to carry her trauma by herself.

The two then curled up together within the sheets in their bed. The sheets covering their bodies from the waist down, acting as comfort. Their bodies forming a heart as they lay together in the darkness holding one another as the night wore on.

" _I will protect you Erin. I'll carry your burdens with you no matter how hard it gets. I will protect your heart for as long as you will let me"._

Erin always acted so brave, tough, outspoken and opinionated. Not allowing anyone to disagree with her methods or question her dreams or ideals. But it was all a shield, a mask to hide her guilt. To hide her anger and shame that she couldn't protect the person closest to her, her own mother.

She truly was damaged and had her issues, but she never showed it. Because she had been used to acting strong and carrying these demons by herself. Because she didn't feel like anyone was worthy enough to carry them with her or was capable of sharing her load.

But he was here now, he would help ease the wounds in her heart. He would act as her shield when things got too hard or too much. Because he loved her, his stubborn, impulsive lover.


End file.
